FOR SALE
Please contact webmaster@chacc.com to put your ad here or see our latest newsletter for any sales.
WANTED
Please contact webmaster@chacc.com to put your ad here or see our latest newsletter for any wanted ads.
Jokes
Gardening by remote
Contributed by Ray & Joan Dinte
An old man lived in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was too hard. His only son, Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Fred,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I am just getting too old to be digging up the garden plot. If you were here all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig up the plot for me.
Love Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son –
Dear Dad,
For heaven's sake Dad, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the BODIES.
Love Fred
At 4am the next morning FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologised to the old man and left. The same day the old man received another letter from his son –
Dear Dad
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love Fred
The Wife
Courtesy of the Brisbane Vintage Auto Club's March 2008 Newsletter “Vintage Views”
A Police Officer pulls over a speeding car.
The Officer says, “I clocked you at 80km per hour, sir.”
The driver says, “Gee, Officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.”
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says, “Now don't be silly dear, you now that this car doesn't have a cruise control.”
As the Officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, “Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?”
The wife smiles demurely and says, “You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.”
As the Officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man says through clenched teeth, “Darn it, woman, Can't you keep your mouth shut?”
The Officer frowns and says, “and I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.” The driver says, “Yeah, well, you see Officer, I had it on but took it off when you pulled me over so I could get my license out of my back pocket.”
The wife says, “Now dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.”
And as the Police Officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, “WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP?”
The Officer looks over at the woman and asks, “Does your husband always talk to you like that, Ma'am?
“Only when he has been drinking” replies the wife.
More Jokes
See our newsletters for more jokes and funnies.
|
